Disenchantment - An evaluation of my spiritual condition

That pretty much sums up how I've been feeling lately. Well I'm pretty sure I got the word right - as in nothing fascinates you any more.

And it's a horrible feeling.

What are the things I'm disenchanted with?

1) School
2) Hours after school

Haha. Yeah...things are boring me out. I mean there's quite a bit of work to be getting on with but I just find no gain in the things I do. There's no excitement and every day is lived in so much routine.

The human soul was created to be fascinated. And I think as bleak as this period of my life is, it has taught me at least one thing - this life can only satisfy so much, then it gets boring.

Of course the problem comes when you try to go to God to get satisfied, and you don't seem to get anything out of it. If the first thing was horrible, I think this borders on suicidal.

Lol. Umm. I am not suicidal btw. Just a choice of words - quite apt in a certain sense, for those who know what I mean.

But yeah, I think everyone has dark periods in their life like these. My last one was quite a long time back, about two years back, when my life felt quite aimless.

This time round though, I've learnt one thing. Its moments like these, when the darkness seems oppressive, stifling, suffocating the joy out of life, its moments like these when God's light shines brightest. It's just a matter of waiting for the light to come - because it will. God is the everlasting God. Even in the darkness He reigns. And He will place a limit on what we have to endure and lift us up when our time of testing is finished.

For those who have believed, John Piper calls us to fight for joy like a justified sinner. We often take for granted the power of the cross of Christ. I'm doing injustice to a great book (When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy by John Piper) which I think is a great book for those who just feel stuck and stagnant in their relationship with God, but to summarise the key bit to this concept, the idea is that the fight for joy is a fight to see the glory of God - because Piper argues that the Bible preaches the idea that "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him" and our satisfaction only comes when we see God for who He really is, i.e. glorious. And the glory of God is most tangible in the cross of Christ.

Paul says it himself when he says "Far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ (Gal 6:14)". Our primary source of power is found there. Because there we see God in His full glory - the merciful and compassionate God who loved us so much that He died to take away our sins, something we could not do ourselves. The story of the cross, the story of redemption is the full display of the glory of God. And thus it is there that we are most satisfied. God gives us little glimpses of His glory in our daily lives, but none compares to the fact of Christ crucified and risen.

It's like this David Crowder song, Heaven Came Down:
Heaven came down and glory filled my soul/When at the cross my Savior made me whole/My sins were washed away/And my night was turned to day/When heaven came down and glory filled my soul/O what a wonderful wonderful day/Day I will never forget/When I was wandering in darkness away/Jesus my Savior I met/O what a tender compassionate Friend/He met the need of my heart/Shadows dispelling with joy I am telling/He made all the darkness depart/O what a wonderful wonderful day/And O what a glorious glorious day/The day you came, came to save me/O what a wonderful wonderful day/The day you came and you saved me

And Piper acknowledges that the fight for joy exists. Christianity doesn't promise instant gratification. There are moments of darkness. And the biblical writers had their moments. But Piper encourages us to fight with what he calls ' gutsy guilt'. In Micah 7 : 8-9, (Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD will be a light to me. I will bear the indignation of the LORD because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me. He will bring me out to the light; I shall look upon his vindication.), Micah acknowledges that moments of darkness exist. Because we are truly sinners and we deserve to bear the indignation/anger of God.

But here's the amazing truth here. For those of us who have believed and have been justified by faith in Jesus Christ, we do not face the wrath of an angry judge but the discipline of a loving father. And so while we bear the indignation of God, we have to but wait a little longer, when God will lift His darkness and restore our joy. And this joy is all the more sweeter. It's like how an ice-cream tastes much better after baking in the sun all day rather than having spent the day in a freezing room. The contrast emphasises it.

And Piper calls this manner of fight for joy the way of gutsy guilt. Because while we acknowledge that we're guilty, when the enemy (for most of us this would be the devil) rubs it in our faces, we can stand up and say that God will be my light. He is for me. He will not forsake me. Because of what He had first done for us at the cross. Moreover, God will execute judgment for us - now the tables are turned on our enemy.

Piper contrasts this with 'cheap grace', which I would succinctly described as a "all will be good and happy. If things are going bad, then you do not have faith" sort of doctrine. The fact is that we have really fallen short of God's standards. There is real judgment for what we have done. There is a darkness we have to face. But because of the cross, in what was once a dark world, we have a hope - the promise of the light of God. This light may sometimes seem dim, but it's always there and in our greatest moment of darkness, if we can seize hold of the power of the cross and the fact that we have already been made righteous, we can endure until God chooses to lift the oppressiveness of the darkness.

Haha. I have to say that was pretty heavy doctrine there. But the darkness is real. It suffocates and stifles our joy. The fact is the Christian life is not all prosperous and comfortable. But there is joy. An eternal joy. Because in the darkness, when life seems to go nowhere, we can lay hold to the power of the cross - that Jesus has redeemed us - and that will be enough for us, until God lifts the darkness and a greater joy descends upon us.

And for those who don't believe, the offer of joy is still free and available for all those who choose to believe. Because I can tell you that night is here, but morning will come for those who hold fast to the joy that is found in the power of the cross. And then this life wont seem so bad, because we have a light to lead us through the darkness, to heaven where we will be forever satisfied in the presence of our great and glorious God.

Lol. In fact I'm feeling a little bit happier now. Haha. I think it helped to get this off my chest into the open.

When Silence Falls

This may comes across as a depressing post for some of you. But I just feel some things have to be said...



Some things just shock you to your very core.

Like the Virginia Tech shooting. 33 lives gone. Just like that.

Living in Malaysia, I am pretty grateful, that despite all the fallacies of this country, it is a safe place by comparison.

But things like these just feel so inexplainable. It reminds me of the year before, when one of the guys in my year died just like that after being stabbed.

You feel indignation, anger, a need for justice, a need to right wrongs, especially when it becomes personal.

To many death is the ultimate foe. It is unbeatable. The sting unbearable.

But why do I feel so shock when 33 people die, and when all over the world 0.86% of the population dies every year, which works out to roughly 1.8 persons dying a second or 156773 people dying a day, I hardly blink an eye?

Is it because it was 'before their time'? That they had their whole lives ahead of them? That it was unfair for them to die because they did not deserve it?

The fact remains that people die, eventually. Immortality on this earth is a sham. Medicine might prolong our lives. But then we die.

And it is this very fact that should lead you to ask the very question: To what end am I living this life? What happens after I die? Am I living life to the fullest here?

Questions like these beg more than simple answers.

Because until you find these answers, life is but a fleeting thought, a vapor in the wind, a flower that blooms then shrivels and dies.

And that kind of life is not worth living.

For all those just trying to get through the next few hours, for those finding answers, for those looking for hope, for those in pain and sorrow, for those in the darkest night of their life, for those who can no longer find words to express yourself, when silence falls it is then you hear the whisper of God. If you would but listen. If you would but ask God for eyes to see the truth.

The truth is that while the world seems to be heading for ruin, God is still God, through it all. And when all around is fading, when nothing seems to last, we still have hope in a Saviour who has rescued us from the sting of death. And in Him, we find strength to live every hour of our life. And while rescue is present in every moment of our life, when we need Him to pull us out of the darkness of the pit we find ourselves in, there is a greater rescue that is coming. When He comes to bring us back to Him. The victory has been won but just wait a little longer.

That is the story of Easter.

Thirty three (33)

For some reason, my printer screen is in German. Well, at least I think it's German. Mmm. Still trying to discover where the language settings are.

Anyways, 33 is the number of days to go before school is finished.

Officially.

Although there are exams.

But it's school that I dislike.

The many things I dislike about school include: the really tedious homework, the early hours, the sometimes boring lessons which are of no benefit, lousy canteen food that is the main cause of my malnutrition - you're better off starving in this respect

The many more things I like about school: accounting classes - I am one big distraction, further math classes - another distraction, people in school, the times when I'm not feeling sleepy

But overall the hours and the boredom kind of tip the scale in favour of me disliking school.

Anyways enough of my school gripe.

I currently have no interesting thoughts of the day. Kinda. I do have this thought i came up with but it slipped my mind. Also, I'm currently wondering how I (and am pretty sure other people do this as well) seem to waste the hours away in front of the computer doing nothing and mucking around. It's seriously unproductive and yet time just flies when you're doing nothing.

It's a mystery. Attempting to figure out how the time is actually used.

Sleepless in KL

*warning* the following post may contain graphic descriptions. Reader discretion is adviced. *warning*



Phlegm.

The very word just sounds really phlegmy.

Haha. The wonders of the English language.

I've spent the second week of the Easter break pretty sick, for the first three days. And then there comes all that lingering phlegm. Which just wakes you up at night so you can sip some water and clear your respiratory channels because the phlegm moves up into your nose. After all phlegm, mucus, nose boogies are all the same thing, just in different parts of the body and all that technical stuff. So anyways when morning comes, there are a bunch of tissues with green semi-solid substances in it, which have migrated from my throat up my nose down onto the tissue. And it's a pretty distracting migration.

So yeah the previous night are kind of sleepless because I end up waking up a lot. I think this is really slowing down my recovery as a result.

Ahh well....

On another note, because I tend to like my posts to be more educational, I'll talk on a subject close to my heart.

I mean that pretty literally, since it's in fact right next to me.

Haha.

Computer games.

Now, I'll place myself in the category of a person that loves the following type of game: all Command and Conquer games (I have to get myself the third one soon - looks sooooo good, but i digress); building games, because at heart I love planning and building stuff and seeing the money roll in and things grow etc etc; role playing games although lately there's been a dearth of ones i like. I kinda hate the long convoluted adventures where you get lost without a walkthrough and requires so much walking in jungles and dungeons and stuff. Give me a quick story to blast through. Best RPG I've ever played? An oldie, the Fallout series. Although apparently Fallout 3 is in the works, under the production of the creators of ElderScrolls - should be good. Then there are the odd game or two i enjoy once in a while, like Civilisation IV, and other real time strategy games like warhammer and thing like that. Oh and don't forget the FIFA series, which I'm pretty good at albeit a bit rusty.

And I didn't forget first person shooters, because i personally dislike them. They're nice to play multiplayer. But I just don't like the gameplay. It's way too brainless. Puzzles are just there as eye candy for whatever new physics engine they've created. Most of you will disagree. I will agree to disagree.

But anyways, here's the game that bothers me.

Grand Theft Auto.

Mmm. One of the first games to make the leap from 2D to 3D. I have to say when GTA3 was released, I went ooh-ahh over the whole gameplay, which was just really cool.

Then of course the series starts evolving. GTA3 was clean. Very clean. Especially when compared to GTA: San Andreas. Now that last one, I hated. All the vulgarity, the blatant criminality.

Wait a minute, that's what GTA is at heart - a game where you are a criminal. (Getting into a police car and playing vigilante still makes you a criminal, which explains why the police are always after Batman in that whole universe, which is pretty ironic considering that without Batman, they're a pretty impotent force)

So anyways people who read the news, even just gaming news will know that (eventhough this is old news), that GTA has sparked a whole bunch of controversy. Issues like: does the game glorify violence and sex and all that? etc. And in turn what effect is it having on the kids of this generation? Mmmm. Very deep questions.

I have to say that computer games are my one weakness. I easily succumb to addiction, if the game is really good. (dumb command and conquer and city building game developers) Anyways the point which I'm trying to consider is this:

I know these kind of games are bad, especially games like GTA. But at the same time the gameplay's just so engrossing. But here's how I quit that series for good.

When I was playing the vice city version (which wasn't that derogatory yet), my then 7 year old cousin comes over and I'm driving this really fast car speeding down the highway and my cousin LOVES racing games. So I thought, ahh this game is pretty harmless, let him get in the car, let me turn on the invulnerability cheat and let him crash and bang and drive all he wants.

Now fast forward one year later, and San Andreas gets released. The covers look virtually similar to a kid that young. San Andreas is definitely deserving of its mature rating, although it pushes me to question whether having to resort to use of much vulgarity and other indecencies is actually a mature thing to start with - it's more of an immature maturity (a phrase which makes no sense).

SO anyways he pesters me to want to play it, and I think the elements in this game are just so horrible, I hide the game and blatantly lie to his face that I forgot to delete the shortcut on the desktop. (I uninstalled the game later that day)

Because we should never expose kids to this sort of thing.

Sure people say it's the real world. Stop protecting them

Well, here's the newsflash, it's actually not the real world. It's a MTV culture. There was a news article that day, with the owner of MTV saying they control the teenagers of this generation. The only reason why the culture is the way it is today is because people say that's how it has always been, when in the first place it has never always been like this, but because of ignorant persistence we assume the culture is as such, i.e. culture is what culture says.

Haha. That's a chunky statement to digest but the moral of the story is this.

Make a stand. Let's chuck out all the undesirable elements and transform the deteriorating morality of today's culture. Because culture is what culture says, say something different.

Say something morally right.

(This post is long enough already. So I have to refrain from delving into the spiritual elements of such an issue. And of course the whole issue could span pages and pages. So I've just written what's on my mind and quickly jump from intro to conclusion. The processing bits have to be left out.)

The wait is over

Ahh.

So what has happened in the past 2 months and quite a bit?

Well. Firstly, I have to say I was busy. My half completed post is lying somewhere in the deep recesses of another person's hard drive, which I used as borrowed storage space when I had to format this computer.

And it all started when my internet connection failed.

OK. So it was either a hardware or software problem.

Well, I can't be bothered to post the whole process up but the conclusion was that it was BOTH a software and hardware problem.

So I had to format this computer, and then I went out to buy a wireless USB adapter.

And there we are. I'm back.

What's happening in my life?

For those of you who know I'm a huge David Crowder Band fan (although I don't quite like the use of the word 'fan', it's more of an affinity for their work. I don't go crazy over them.), they are recording their new album, as of 3 weeks in the making. If you go to this site, you can catch them recording their new album, Remedy. Pretty neat the webcams and the clip of the days and all.

Easter is over. It was a really busy week, editing videos and all. And then I spent the earlier part of this week pretty sick.

And finally, I'm 18!

Haha. I just had to say that. Ah well.

Next post will be up soon. I hope. Haha. Again it depends on the teachers at school. I'm half tempted to just miss every single lesson except history, since my As in those subject are no longer going to be dependent on lesson attendance.

The Philosophy of Weng: Fiction or Truth, Coming Soon

I have released the title of my next post.

Here I shall attempt to briefly explain the reason why I believe the Bible is without a doubt the word of God, the one and only truth. That it is not mere fiction or a collection of stories and sayings as the world falsely claims, but it is the living Word, with the power to transform lives, not because it preaches good philosophies to live by, but because it essentially condemns the sinfulness of man, the futility of trying to live a good life, and points to the one and only way, the one and only truth, the one and only life, that through Jesus Christ, that by His power in us, He not only forgives us of our past wrongs, but gives us power to live the present by His holy standards, and assurance of a future with Him in heaven.

This will be updated shortly. It's still currently being word processed. I don't want to make this overly shoddy yet I know it will be impossible to put forth every single argument, because I might as well attempt to write a book at that point, which I know will be an impossible task, what with the immense research and planning needed.

Instead, to a satisfying standard, I wish to highlight why I have such faith in the Bible, briefly explaining the evidence that has convinced me as such. And beyond the physical realm, I also wish to point out the supernatural power of the Bible, not like that of the movies where you show it to an evil spirit and it forces it to flee, but the power to take man from his depravity into the divinity of the Godhead. To live for what he was really created for.

I realise there might be many terms I use that are unfamiliar, as I seem to use a lot of Christian lingo here. But I'll do my utter best to couch it in terms that are familiar and explain that which is unfamiliar.

Be warned. This post is not one you should merely dismiss. And I'm dead serious on this. Because yet again I will reiterate this line: If you really believe that what you believe is really real, then you will indeed live by that belief no matter what..

And I really believe that my belief "that the Bible is the truth of God, the living Word", is really real, and as such I strive to live by it daily.

The Philosophy of Weng: The Basic Question

Firstly, the truest definition of philosophy, in my opinion:

Philosophy is "a scientific quest to discover ultimate reality".

The next question is of course: What is this 'ultimate reality'?

That's would be a hard question, unless we believe one thing. That reality is defined by what is true. And logically, ultimate reality will be defined by what is ultimate truth.

Now that's an interesting statement to wrap one's head around, isn't it?

Think about it for a minute. Does truth define reality? That what is really really real, and not an illusion disguised as reality, also truly truly true?

Assuming that you agree with that statement, and we equate truth with reality, then what do we equate truth with?

At this point, some of you may have recalled me writing a post about this sometime back. I'll post the link here, because there are many ideas there that will be reiterated and referred to, which I'll incorporate into this series of posts

What ought to be and what is

Take the time to read the above post. There are two things which I wish to emphasise. The first is of course the issue of "What is truth?", the answer to which is God Himself, as testified in the Bible. The second is the issue of how this view of truth has been distorted by the many worldly lies, the biggest one of which is that there is no God or that He is irrelevant, and as such has led to such a divergence of morality and ethics, that the world today is become ever more fallen in sin.

Now, following from that there will be several things which I'll have to try to address. The first is the authority of the Bible. As much of my argument will be taken from there, I will have to prove that the Bible is indeed the infallible Word of God. And trust me, I will.

The second is this notion of sin, which ties in to the larger topic of man, and his purpose in this world.

And I'll end with the basic question:

What is the purpose of life?

It is this basic question that I will start off with, and attempt to come back to in my conclusion. In the meantime continue to tell me what you would like to know about. And I will like to give credit to where credit is due.

A majority of the worldview I now possess I credit to The Truth Project, a DVD series regarding the biblical worldview, which has transformed the way I perceived life in general. In addition, I would also like to credit several books which I have read, and am reading along the way, the specific authors and titles of which I will mention as I bring up points in this series.

Finally, all of the credit ultimately goes to God and the transformational power of not only His word, but His very nature, who has given me whatever wisdom I possess in attempting to tackle all these issues.

What would you like to know?

I've been thinking about the direction of my series of posts.

Then I thought, is there anything in particular someone would like to know about?

Feel free to post your comments under here. If there are no comments, then I'll just press ahead with whatever plan I come up with.

The Philosophy of Weng

I'm back after a long hiatus. And I think I'm ready to embark on another series of posts.

This time, it's going to be about "The Philosophy of Weng".

So I thought, what better way to introduce this series than defining it? *surprise surprise*

There are many definitions of philosophy, but let me start by going back to the root word.

Philosophy is Greek in origin, coming from the two part of 'phil' meaning love and 'sophy' meaning wisdom. Thus combined it means love of wisdom. I'll leave it there at the moment.

Below are the definitions of philosophy, as I got them by typing in "dict philosophy" into my Firefox address bar.

1. Love and pursuit of wisdom by intellectual means and moral self-discipline.
2. Investigation of the nature, causes, or principles of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning rather than empirical methods.
3. A system of thought based on or involving such inquiry: the philosophy of Hume.
4. The critical analysis of fundamental assumptions or beliefs.
5. The disciplines presented in university curriculums of science and the liberal arts, except medicine, law, and theology.
6. The discipline comprising logic, ethics, aesthetics, metaphysics, and epistemology.
7. A set of ideas or beliefs relating to a particular field or activity; an underlying theory: an original philosophy of advertising.
8. A system of values by which one lives: has an unusual philosophy of life.

All the above definitions have merit, and I'll come back often to visit them. Because our philosophy, whether we define it as such or not, is really our system of belief, and if you really believe that what you believe is really real, then well you're going to live it!

In my series, I will be doing numbers 2 and 4. With ONE exception. I will also investigate using empirical methods, which means that I WILL (attempt to) provide evidence.

Haha. So that's the introduction. I have yet to outline the direction of my series. So give me a few days, roughly two or three, to get that sorted, then check back here.

In the meantime I'll end with this passage from the Bible:

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ"

Colossians 2:8

And yes, for those of you who are a bit uncertain at this point, this WILL be a Christian worldview. After all, it's the philosophy of Weng.

Lol.

Joy indeed

Well.

Informally accepted into Cambridge.

Woohoo.

2007 has started very well for me. And for that I'm extremely thankful.

Thankful for the mercies and blessings of God.

And well. Haha. That's all I can post right now. Cos right now, the joy of getting accepted is occupying whatever space that is left in my brain.

Passion: The wrap up

Almost. Not quite.

Anyways, here's what transpired in the longest journey back home.

For the sake of uniformity, I'll use the time at the venue at which I'm writing about. But I'll place Malaysian time in brackets.

Anyways, we were meant to leave Atlanta at Sunday 9.45pm (Monday 10.45am). Check-in took pretty long, what with the people admiring some colleagues engagement ring. Bleargh. Talk about inefficiency.

But the flight got delayed one hour, because of bad weather delaying the arrival of our pilots from Tampa. Not a good sign, given that we had two hours to catch a connecting flight, two hours now reduced to one hour, an hour within which to get our boarding passes.

Ahh. So we reach Vegas at Sunday 11.50 pm (Monday 2.50pm) and we have one hour to get to the next plane. They knew we arrived. And they didn't hold the dumb plane. So we missed it. Especially with inefficiently designed American airports and what not with their terminals scattered all over the place. Spent the night at Vegas. And managed to reschedule, to fly to, of all places, eastward towards New York, before catching a connecting flight to Seoul. Urgh.

So we left Monday 12.50pm (Tuesday 3.50am) and arrived at New York Monday 8.30pm (Tuesday 9.30am) Great. Wait 4 hours and board flight Tuesday 12.50am (Tuesday 1.50pm). Then fly 15 hours to Seoul. Thankfully this journey wasn't that long, considering I slept solidly for the first 8/9 hours of the plane ride.

So we get into Seoul at Wednesday 5.50am (Wednesday 4.50 am). Next flight was meant to be at Wednesday 4.50pm out of Seoul to Kuala Lumpur. But we managed to locate our luggage, which was going out on an earlier MAS flight. Brilliant. So we managed to persuade Delta to waive our penalty charge and get a seat on that plane to KL, leaving 11.50am. We got the tickets at 10.45am, and dashed for the gate. Lol.

And so we finally arrived back in KL at Wednesday 7.30pm, after stopping for an hour in Kota Kinabalu.

Boy. What a journey. 60 hours without a shower, without proper rest and without a proper meal. It is not fun to be stranded. What was meant to be a 36 hour journey, arriving home on Tuesday, at 2220, was delayed one day (well almost). *shudder*

Anyways, the stream is up on the passion site again at www.268generation.com for those who
want to view what it was like. It's up until Friday midnight. Lol. Only found out today. Ahh well. It's American time anyways I assume.

And as for the wrap up. It has been an amazing trip.

Yep.

Were you expecting some long summary?

Too tired to do that. Haha. There was just so much, you can only describe it as amazing.

Period.

Haha. I think my brains have partly turned to mush. Hopefully my school knowledge is still there somewhere. Lol.

Will be back in school tomorrow, after an extended holiday of nearly a week, taking my Christmas break to a month. Schoolwork should not be much of a problem

And it appears my Cambridge letter has arrived. Well, is meant to have arrived. I haven't got it yet. Eagerly waiting for that.

Until then, I shall be getting off this computer.

Passion: Chapter Six - Farewell America

Ahh. After 12 days in the US, we're finally leaving for Malaysia.

It's been a great 3 days. A family here took us in and they've been fantastic with the rooms and the food. Lol. Although I'll probably be happy to get back to some Malaysian food as well.

Anyways, my flight is at 2145 on the -4GMT time zone although with daylight savings in place it's -5GMT. I'll be reaching back on Tuesday at 2220, I think, Malaysian time.

Looking back at the trip, I thank God for His countless blessings. So much so that I've only spent my money on small meals and lots of CDs and books. LOTS of CDs and books. Lol. I think it was 82USD on CDs and 80USD on books. Ah well. Oh ya. And a T-shirt or two. Forgot about that.

Well. Next time I post should be back in KL. I'll be missing the first three days of my term, so fun fun fun. Haha.

That's all. But with me you know there's always another post just waiting round the corner.

Passion: Chapter Five - The Real Thing

Well. Passion is over. But it was nothing short of life changing for me.

I won't be able to post this from where I am so I'll have to wait till I get back before the full post can be scripted.

But in the meantime, did you know you can watch the main session being streamed live on the passion website?

Go to www.268generation.com and look for the link that brings you to the live stream. I'm not sure how much longer they will be up for as it is only temporary. But do enjoy them because I certainly did. And also, a bit of background.

Because of the fact that 24000 college students turned up, they had to rent another venue. Therefore the main session were jointly held in both the Phillips Arena and the Georgia World Convention Center Arena. The stream is that of what you see on the projection-like screens in the main venue.

I'll give full details of the conference as soon as I get back to Malaysia. The scale of it is just so immense that it's impossible to describe in a few short paragraphs. But the spirit of God was truly working among the 24000. You can check for updates at the passion site to be honest, but I'll post them up here soon enough.

Passion: Chapter Four - Goodbye Orlando

Well, it's Day Four. Went to Disney yesterday and realised what a novelty it was to cut to the front of every queue in Universal. Ah well. Anyways went on a few rides, namely splash mountain and space mountain for those who have been there before. Quite nice but not as great as the Universal rides.

Stayed over at Sean's place instead at night, cos Matt's grandma - well their whole family are out for a relative's wedding over New Year's Eve. Before that we went to another of matt's friends, Tom's place for dinner.

I think I've gained a few kilos here in America. blearghh.

Got back to Sean's place pretty late, eleven-ish. We enter the house and there's an American football party going on. Anyways something pretty comical happened, cutting short their party. As to not disclose any names, person A was browsing through the channels, while the football game was being recorded on Tivo. Now the thing about Tivo, for those who do not know, is that Tivo records and allows pausing and playing only as long as the channel is in use. Anyways person A accidentally clicks OK and switches the channel. The biggest party crash I've seen in a long long time.

Woke up today at 6. We went to some breakfast joint to get some American breakfast. Bleargh. Starting to feel really unhealthy. Anyways we left to go to Matt's church, which is pretty awesomely huge. HUGE. Met quite a few of his friends - was interesting to meet certain people. Saw one of his friends get baptised here. It was quite an experience, the service being different from the ones back home.

We then left for SeaWorld. The shows there are simply awesome. Saw the famous Shamu show, which was pretty breathtaking, saw one with two sealions performing and another musical with dolphins. The animals are trained to do pretty crazy and unbelievable stunts with their trainers. We also sat on another rollercoaster, namely the Kraken. Now for those of you who have been to Orlando and seen the Incredible Hulk in Islands of Adventure, this is just as awesome and even bigger in some places. It has the biggest drop to date on any rollercoaster I have ridden. Pretty crazy stuff.

Of course let's take this time to remember the rollercoaster incident back home. Malaysian rollercoaster quality seems quite shoddy at this time.

But yeah that makes it my sixth, I think, rollercoaster in 3 days. I think I must be getting quite accustomed to them, cos each one seems less terrifying than the previous. Of course, I'm getting pretty jetlagged as well, so it could be that I'm just way too tired. I find the latter more likely.

Anyways I'll be getting to bed now. First new year's I'll miss in a long time. But then I have to be up at 4am tmr. The bus leaves at 5.30 am sharp for Atlanta. So I need my sleep, real bad.

Passion: Chapter Three - Day 3

Well, we went to Universal yesterday.

Had a great time there on all the rides, especially the rollercoasters. Although Matt got sick and threw up by the time night came along, after Shrek. Lol.

And it was great considering we could cut to the front of the queue - can't say why. So there was really no waiting time and we managed to ride all the rides in one day.

Anyways, we're heading out to Disney today. No such luck with the tickets so we're going to have to get stuck in the long queues, especially being a Saturday today, it's going to be longgggg...

Passion: Chapter Two - Orlando, Florida

Well. I've finally reached.

Yesterday actually.

But I just found the time to post today.

Anyways, after leaving Korea, we sat on an 11-hour flight. And as part of my plan to escape jet-lag, I stayed awake watching several movies. I think I watched something like 5 movies.

Then we reached LA. And the immigration queue was long. Longgggggggggggggggggggggggg.

We had two hours to catch a connecting flight. We escaped immigration after an hour. We took an extra 15 minutes to get through customs. And then a long run to the Delta terminal to catch our connecting flight. Problem was the flight had closed off because we had arrived after 45 minutes before the flight. So we could not get our boarding passes. But we had checked in our luggage. SO it was on its way to orlando without us.

Bleargh. Next flight - 10.44 pm.

Current time - 10.44 am

Yep. 12 hour wait at LAX. The longest time of my life. Cushions weren't even fit to sleep on, unlike korea. So it was torture.

But eventually the 12 hours were up and we got on our domestic flight to orlando.

Then I broke yet another record. Sitting in the longest taxi ever. I had no watch but I think it was 45 minutes or something.

Yet we did eventually reach Orlando to much relief. Got picked up from the airport - we didn't have to wait for our luggage seeing it was already in storage having arrived 12 hours earlier.

And thus we arrived at Matt's grandma's place, with breakfast ready. Had quite a meal before leaving to go round town on a drive. Went around to see a short insight into his life here in America. Had a great lunch at a BBQ joint. And then we went fishing. Well actually Matt and his friends went fishing - me and Tim stood around watching and dozing off slightly. Got quite a good dose of the outdoors.

Got back to his grandma's place for dinner with his extended family and then I conked out early, at 8.30 i think.

Woke up this morning at 7. Just had breakfast and now we're planning the rest of the day.

That's all from me.

Passion: Chapter One - Live from Korea

Ok. the shift key is a bit messed up here. so i'm going to have to type in small letters.

anyways, reached korea 5 hours ago. slept at the gate for about 3 hours. and just had lunch.

had quite an adventure checking in at klia though.

i didn't bring my middle passport and they couldn't trace my childhood visa to my current passport. so my bro had to speed home and back in order to bring it to me.

lol

anyways, my flight is leaving in 2 hours. and i have 22 minutes left on my internet connection here.

i don't think i have anything more to say

will post when i reach orlando

next stop: LA.

let's hope immigration doesn't cause us any trouble there

Christmas: A Tale of Hope, Part I

In the Christian calendar, we have two very special dates. One is Christmas, which celebrates the birth of Jesus, and the other is Easter Sunday, which celebrates the resurrection of Jesus. Of course we do have Good Friday, where we remember the crucifixion of Jesus. But generally, I mean two significant periods, one detailing the death and resurrection, and the other the birth of Jesus.

It's been 2000+ years since the first Christmas. If we take the birth year of Jesus to be roughly 6/5 B.C, then it has been 2012/2011 years.

And in that time, the embodiment of Christmas has undergone a radical transformation.

But first, the historical origins of Christmas. I did some brief research regarding this issue. And I got quite a bit of interesting material. For those who have read the Da Vinci Code, or was it Angels and Demons? - can't quite remember, there's a mention there regarding Christmas originating from a pagan festival, and how early Christianity incorporated early culture, and all that nonsense, which then spins a web of lies about how Christianity is nothing more than a myth, blah blah blah.

Well. I have not been able to ascertain whether that is true. But most historians seem to agree that while the year of the birth of Jesus has been roughly pinpointed, the actual date of Jesus' birth was not discussed until the fourth century. Some believe he was born in the spring, some in late summer/early autumn, some Jewish Christians claim it is March 25, 33 years to the date he died, and so on so forth.

But when it comes down to it, whether Christmas is really the accurate date of birth of Jesus or not, it is a symbolic event of the birth of Jesus. In other words, it sets aside a date, a period, where we can gather to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Saviour 2000 years ago. After all, while we might debate about the actual dates, or the controversial origins of Christmas, there is no grounds to doubt that at some point in our history, God became man and dwelled with us.

Emmanuel. God with us.

Today, the world, through crass commercialisation, has distorted the true meaning of Christmas. It's about presents. If you're nice, Santa will give you what you want. If you're naughty, Santa will send his evil sidekick to scare you/or give you coal - depends which side of the story you lie. Of course, we have those feel good movies, that Christmas is a time for the family to build stronger and deeper relationships, a value which I wholly endorse, but this good intent has shrouded the true meaning of Christmas. And for some, Christmas is just yet another holiday.

It's a sad sad fact, that something as beautiful as this point in time, when God fulfilled His promise of sending His people a messiah who would deliver them, has been warped by worldly influences. Even the meaningful Christmas carols such as Joy to the World, or Hark! the Herald Angels Sing, have been reduced to mere Christmas jingles. So much so that it has lost much of its original meaning and significance.

The focus of Christmas is Jesus, Greek for "The Lord saves". It is a new beginning.

I think I'll conclude this first part with this quote:

"The beginning is the end is the beginning".

Lol. That confounded me when I read it the first time. Wrap your head around that phrase for a few hours. And that concludes the first part of my weekend post.

A new record

One post a day seems quite hard to maintain when there are those days you are too tired to think.

Hm. In light of that fact, I'm adopting a new format. I'll post 2 part posts every weekend, and post a minimum of two posts every alternating day. If I'm feeling quite creative then expect the posting to increase.

I expect this new format to be temporary while I regain my full creative powers over Christmas.

As for now, this is it.

My shortest post ever.

The irony of sleeping late

First of all I have to say it's pretty ironic that this post came around because of my decision to sleep at that time yesterday.

Anyways, it seems that the body is a funny thing.

Anyone who sleeps late and wakes up early the next day would naturally feel tired.

The irony is that, for me, if I sleep late really late, then I don't feel quite so tired the next day. But if I sleep late too early then I'm more or less dead the next morning.

For example, I discovered that sleeping past midnight, while definitely unhealthy, left me pretty much wide awake the next morning in school. In stark contrast, when I decided to go to bed at 11, I was dead tired the next morning.

Of course I logically concluded that perhaps there was another underlying trend. Perhaps my lack of sleep the previous days had caught up with me.

Doubt it. I read somewhere that you can't 'transfer' sleep. But I guess the best reason for this behaviour is that when levels of sleep drop really low, my body compensates by going hyperactive, almost sustaining itself on self-created caffeine. Which is probably bad for my health.

Anyways, after all that rambling, the moral of the story would be to sleep early. After all, I read that not having enough sleep leads to poorer memory functions, obesity, poor attention span, e.t.c.